My Kinda Girl - II

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Resemblance to any person living (including yours truly) or dead, to any organisation, place or thing is purely coincidental.


Part - I


"Then, tell us what kinda girl you want?" aunt came back to the question again. Alright, I'll put an end to this. I decided I'll describe one they may never find.
"Okay listen.." I ventured. Aunt cocked her ears out. Mother suddenly was in rapt attention. Ah! Ladies. They are always ears for such matters.
I continued, "My kinda girl.... er... I'm looking for a... you know, a person who's well read but not necessarily well educated."
"What? You don't want an educated girl?" aunt was startled.
"I don't really care as long as she is well read and is an independent thinker."
"You heard that, Jaya?" mother asked.
"Ya, ya, something has come over your son. First thing you do this Saturday is offer vada-malai to Anjaneyar," instructed aunt to mother.
"Yes, ma, add vennai-kaappu to that!" I ridiculed aunt.
"Enough with mockery and blasphemy. Get back on topic," mother ordered.
"Okay, where was I?" I resumed, " Yeah, independent thinker...and...she should be someone who tries to be true to herself in the first place than anybody else."
"You don't want her to be true to you?" asked aunt.
"Maami, being true to oneself is the most difficult part about integrity. If you are true to yourself, then being true to others is just a consequence."
"Hmm, then?"
"One for whom money is not a priority; one who doesn't take life too seriously; one who likes to travel, trek and stuff like that."
"So that you both can roam around like hippies, eh?" mother jeered.
"Am not responding to that", I pretended to be annoyed.
"She was just kidding. It's okay, kanna, c'mon, just continue..." aunt appeased.
"Someone who is philanthropic, I mean - one who places society's welfare on par with that of family, if not more."
"No woman would do that. Family is the first concern for a woman," said aunt strongly, the woman in her rising.
"Yeah, nothing wrong with that. It's just that I wouldn't prefer that type," I opined.
"Then," I continued, "...someone who worries about her carbon footprint than colour of her footwear matching her outfit."
"What does this mean?" aunt scowled.
"Means she should be environment friendly," I clarified.
"Is this a requirement at all? You'll be laughed at for this," remarked aunt.
"I don't give a damn. But this is very important to me," I asserted.
"At this rate no girl is gonna understand you or your language," proclaimed aunt.
"Fine then, spare me."
"No...no.. I didn't mean.. er..but, I haven't ever seen a boy looking for such things in a girl. Don't you think it's a bit crazy?"
"Crazy? You asked for it!"
"True, but..." aunt hesitated.
"Fine, then don't take the trouble." I shot back, imagining I'll be spared. But they wouldn't let me go, now that I'd started, they would persist for ever.
"Is that all? Or you have more weird things coming out?" mother got restless.
"Weird? You find this weird? That's it. Not another word." I feigned to be angry once more.
"Okay...okay... it's not weird. It's just different." Aunt made peace.
I continued on their prodding, "Someone who means what she says."
"Like?" mother asked.
"Like..she says ten minutes to make-up and really means it."
"Ah! This is gonna be difficult." aunt shook her head.
"Someone who talks her mind. No beating around the bush stuff. Like if she's hungry, she'll say she is hungry and instead not ask if am hungry to indirectly mean that she is hungry or worse expect me to figure out myself if she is hungry and ask her if she is hungry; if you know what I mean."
"Mmm..very difficult," pitied aunt.
"And...would be great if she geeky." I ventured more.
"Keekee?" Aunt twisted her face into a ying-yang. Mother threw her hands up.
"Not keekee, geeky," I corrected.
"Huh! Now, what does this mean?" sighed aunt.
"Uh, geeky means...uh..." I began thinking.
"You don't know it yourself?" taunted aunt.
"Oh! c'mon, maami, I'm trying thinking of how to explain it to you", I scorned.
"Son, you do want people around to understand you, na?" mother's turn to mock.
I ignored the remark and began, "Geek means someone who enjoys reading slashdot than indiaglitz, reads xkcd for comics, loves The Big Bang Theory, abhors the stupid K-serials; one that thinks cult films like The Matrix Trilogy or The Bourne Trilogy is lot more fun than the silly banterous stuff like VTV or worse, SRK or Johar flicks;" I paused for a moment. Obviously they were confounded, but I continued, "...one who gets excited about March 14th than March 8th and if I ask what she thinks of cafebabe, she would respond saying 'c0ffee is cooler', and above all one who uses Linux instead of Windows." Undoubtedly, the ladies didn't understand a single word and were staring at me in disbelief and indignation.
"What do you think, you are doing, eh? Playing joke on two unsuspecting old women?" mother asked with certain asperity in the tone.
"No way! Am downright serious," I asserted and paused for a response. Looked like they would pounce on me and tear to pieces. May be I overdid it. I quickly made amends, "Alright, the 'geek' part is not mandatory. But other things are."
"But what about the looks?" aunt asked to bring back some sanity.


...to be continued.


msr