Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Resemblance to any person living (including yours truly) or dead, to any organisation, place or thing is purely coincidental.
The other day when I got home from the library and found my aunt in the living room, I knew I had some disaster coming my way. Mother started unannounced, "Do you remember this gal Lavanya, my X's Y's Z's 4th aunt's 2nd grand-daughter, we met at Kannan's wedding?" I hate weddings. X, Y & Z are my susbtitutes for terms I didn't gather.
"Lavanya who?" I tried to recollect.
"C'mon, she was wearing a pretty maroon Kanchivaram with some exquisite mango motif zari, don't you remember?" added aunt.
There would be scores of ladies in Kanchivaram at a wedding, all looking alike with their hundred dozen accessories. How would I remember a particular maroon one that too with a mango motif?
"When was this?"
"Kannan's wedding, last June," informed aunt, seemingly amused at my loss of memory.
"Oh my! This was more than eight months ago. How on earth did you remember what colour she was wearing?"
"In fact, I remember the colour of her mascara too", gleamed aunt with pride.
"What!?!?! Wait...I don't want you get started talking all that mascara thing and worse - her list of accessories which I am sure would run at least five times longer than our monthly grocery list. Let's cut the crap. Now, get to the point."
"The point is," mother started, "she is 23, MCA, goodlooking, works for HCL, handsome pay..."
"So?" I interrupted, foreboding a catastrophe.
"We think she would be a great match for you." There came it. And mother added, "They wanted to know if we can visit them this weekend."
"Ma, why are you thrusting this on me?" I sounded irritated.
"You'll like her when you meet her. She is a very modern-cum-traditional girl," quipped aunt.
"What in the heck does modern-cum-traditional mean?" I quizzed.
"It means she is very homely, conservative, religious, visits temple regularly and yet wear modern clothes like shirts, pants, et al," answered aunt. Oh my goodness! Pants and shirts and temples. They still hold on to those stereotyped definitions.
"Well, isn't it what boys prefer these days?" aunt added.
"Maami, did I ever say that to you? And what do I care if she visits a temple or a synagogue?" I shrugged in disgust.
"Syna what?" aunt asked.
"Synagogue - it's the place of worship for the Jews." I answered.
"Why do you always talk stuff that we don't know. You could have as well said - a mosque or a church. We would have got the point anyway," aunt seemed a bit irked.
"Well, maami, you got to know a new thing, didn't you?" I swelled with conceit.
"Oh, don't bother Jaya, he's always like that. Shows off too much. Alright, let's get back on topic," mother ordered. Mothers knew you only too well.
"Do you have someone in mind?" aunt queried.
"Okay, then tell us what kinda girl you like?" aunt persevered.
"That's not the first question you should ask. Instead you should be asking if am looking to get married in the first place."
"Okay, are you looking to get married?" aunt asked pronto.
"No, this won't work. You can't go on like this," mother chided.
"Ma, am just twentyeight."
"Do you know how old your grandfather was when he got married?"
"Oh, ma, now, don't start on that please," I begged.
"Then let us know."
"Let know what?" I asked.
"Your preferences," aunt answered.
"Ah! forget it. You won't understand," I smirked.
"Didn't I tell he shows off," mother retorted.
"Amma! stop it please..."
"Then tell us."
"Er.. well, I don't even have a job!" I used my brahmastra abruptly.
But mother knew this would come. She was equally prepared and sent down a counter - "Actually Lavanya's dad called yesterday. He said he is well aware of the IT industry. He says one can get or lose a job anytime. He even offered to give you a referral through one of his friends who's in the industry. You can check with him if you want. Should I call him?" Didn't I tell mothers knew you too well. Then she added, "One can't get a better father-in-law."
"Wait...wait... father-in what? When did even it become official?" I was going bonkers.
"Okay listen, you need not commit to this, but let us just visit them," mother advised.
"Ma..wait.. now, why are we even talking about commitment! Crazy! I don't even know what kinda girl this Lavanya is," I pleaded.
"Then, tell us what kinda girl you want?" aunt came back to the question again.
...to be continued.
PS: This is entirely a work of fiction. Alright, not entirely. ;) :p